


Terabithia

by torasame



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Kozume Kenma & Kuroo Tetsurou Friendship, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Post-Break Up, Slow Burn, Third Year Tsukishima Kei, Tsukishima Kei & Akaashi Keiji Friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-14
Updated: 2020-02-14
Packaged: 2021-02-22 13:14:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22716622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/torasame/pseuds/torasame
Summary: It's been two years since either of them have tried to cross the gap. Tetsuro takes a step forward and wonders if Tsukishima will be there to steady him on the other side.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kozume Kenma, Kozume Kenma & Kuroo Tetsurou, Kuroo Tetsurou/Tsukishima Kei
Comments: 11
Kudos: 87





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The title is a reference to the book "Bridge to Terabithia" which I thought sort of fit in to what the story centres around.
> 
> Happy Valentine's day by the way. I hope you all had a good one unlike a certain idiot who decided to pull himself together to publish this slow burn fic in time. Updates might be late since the migraines have started to kick in so I might be bedridden for a while.

_ The Next Station is Sendai. _

Tetsuro pulled himself from his semi-decent nap. His phone told him it was half past one in the afternoon. It also told him he had one unread message from Kenma.

* * *

_ From: Kozume Kenma _

_ Subject: n/a _

_ Shoyo and I are close to the station. We'll see you in a while. _

* * *

_ reply _

* * *

_To: Kozume Kenma_

_ Subject: n/a _

_ Tomorrow's your big day ;) how does it feel to know you're getting old _

* * *

He didn't expect Kenma to reply, he probably went back to his game or continued reading his fantasy novel. His phone returned to his jean pocket as he opted to distract himself with the fleeting scenery from the train window. He pulled away soon after catching his reflection against the glass when the train had entered a tunnel.

Tetsuro did not need to see the melancholy in his own eyes.

_ Now arriving at Sendai  _

The few passengers around him stood up in practiced quickness and he watched them do so. His movements were slower—cautious even. He patiently waited for his turn to step off the train and onto the platform. The station wasn't busy but the air was heavy with the ghosts of conversations he hadn't heard in years. He took a breath as he crossed the gap.

He couldn't help but find himself feeling lost. Everyone else seemed to have a place to go, people to meet or greet them. Tetsuro remained where he was, standing with his back against the train as it sped away and caused the cold October breeze to brush against him.

His phone quietly buzzed to life in his pocket, reeling back into reality.

* * *

_ From: Kozume Kenma _

_ Subject: n/a _

_ We're outside the station. _

_ Someone as ancient as you belongs in a museum. Hope your back didn't break from the journey. _

* * *

Tetsuro managed a laugh and made his way through the well worn paths of a station that hadn't seemed to change since he had last been there. But he supposed he shouldn't have expected such. Places never really change, only the experiences did. And at that moment, Tetsuro wondered if it had been the greatest testament of loneliness he had ever felt. But some part of him denied it.

He continued onward with the same resolve, but with the soft voice in his head aching to ask the questions he was too afraid to answer.

* * *

"I'm planning to go to Brazil."

"Brazil?" Tetsuro eyed Hinata with peaked curiosity. The decisions he made never failed to be anything short of questionable. "Are you going to be okay with that, Kenma?"

Kenma did not spare him a glance. "I offered to sponsor him. He isn't going to be gone forever."

He shook his head, "how on Earth are you supposed to survive there, shrimp? Do you even know how to speak the language?"

"I could always learn," Hinata insisted.

"You've barely started to keep your grades up from what I've heard. Kenma also told me English is your worst subject." He couldn't help but laugh when Hinata made a show of gawking at Kenma whose attention was still fixated on his game. 

"I'm sure he'll be fine," Kenma offered and that seemed to be the end of the topic. Nevertheless, they kept at their pace without missing a beat. Hinata kept a relatively casual conversation with him, with Kenma offering mild commentary.

"Oh since you're here Kuroo, do you mind having a friendly rally with me at the school gym? There shouldn't be that much people there anyway." A smile crept on Tetsuro's lips.

"Ah, just like the good old times huh? It's been so long since I've played Karasuno." The years caught up to him briefly. Suddenly, he was still captain with the dream of recreating a moment a handful of people could call historical. And it happened. He was there and it happened. He remembered the sensation in his chest just as he had on that day. The disappointment had been outweighed by the overwhelming sense of pride and relief.

"Please don't tell me it's going to be a one-on-one," Kenma lamented.

Hinata beamed wider than he already had. Smiling seemed to be his resting face. "Well maybe stupidyama will be there. You should play too, Kenma!"

Tetsuro was torn on laughing or rolling his eyes. Kenma visibly hesitated when Hinata looked at him expectantly. It didn't take long for him to give in. "Perhaps."

They had stopped over the team changing room to switch out of their winter clothes before approaching the gym. Hinata sped ahead of them, practically bounding over inside. Tetsuro had a hard time reminding himself that the shrimp was in his last year of highschool.

He and Kenma trailed behind, taking their time in changing into their indoor shoes. They stepped into Karasuno's gym as they had done two years ago.

"It really hasn't changed, huh."

To his disbelief, Kenma looked as nostalgic as he did. "Yeah."

They eventually spotted Hinata at the far end of the gym near the stage. Tetsuro froze into place just as Hinata's exclamation barely registered in his system.

"Tsukishima! When did you get here?"

Tetsuro stood where he was, dead centre of Tsukishima's amber gaze. And it seemed Tsukishima had taken the full extent of Tetsuro's own dumbfounded stare. He was much taller and his hair fell against more of his forehead than it had since Tetsuro last saw him. What startled him most was the look in the eyes he stared back at. He had merely seen the inklings of what was before him. There was a fire he had never seen before

He saw the flames flicker when Tsukishima turned away.

It seemed the entirety of Karasuno's third years were present. They were split into teams of three. The once promising first years of Karasuno were together, leaving him with Kenma and their team captain with the jump float serve.

They all took their positions as the rally began.

Tetsuro and Tsukishima stood on opposite sides of the court, staring at anything but each other.

"Kuroo," there was no honorific. That meant it had to have been Kenma who called out to him. Tetsuro made his approach to the ball, eyeing the empty spot on the court next to Hinata for a particularly tricky shot to receive. He felt a great force of power explode from his palm as it connected with the ball. He had barely made it back on the ground when he heard the ball rebound on the space beside him. It was only then when he realized he was once again caught in Tsukishima's stare.

It lasted for an eternity of a second. It seemed as though there was only a net that separated them— nothing more. Up close, Tetsuro could practically imagine the warmth of the fire in Tsukishima's eyes which crackled with much more intensity than it had before. He could see the subtle angularity in the middle blocker's features as he graced through the awkward transitions of his adolescence.

"You've gotten pretty good at blocking," it seemed to have thrown Tsukishima off guard. Somehow, it threw himself off as well.

"Maybe it's just age catching up to you, Kuroo." He was still as polite as ever, even when insulting someone. Testsuro couldn't help but smile at that.

Those were the first words they've exchanged with one another in the last two years.

They stood, separated by a net and stared at nothing else but each other. For that moment, they could ignore the gaping chasm between them.

This time, Tetsuro was the first to pull away. As Kageyama lined up for his serve, he noticed the side glance Kenma offered him. He shook his head. The game continued with relative ease. Tetsuro would find himself up front with Tsukishima, sharing light hearted banter as they had once had a lifetime ago.

"You've still got a ways to go." Tsukishima had steadied his hands on his knees while pausing from breath. Tetsuro somehow managed to win their joust with tedious effort.

The match ended with the freak trio ("Shouldn't it be the ellipse trio?" Kenma had mentioned once. Tetsuro sat in deep thought for a moment before crying out at the realization.) taking the match which came to no one's surprise. His side of the court could only shake their heads when they heard the arguments that arose from the other side. It seemed as though nothing much had changed over the course of two years. Tetsuro pushed back the voice in his head that whispered otherwise.

"Shoyo and I are going out later," Kenma announced from his spot on the floor. Tetsuro offered him a hand which his best friend gratefully took. "Do you want to tag along?"

Tetsuro hummed at the notion, although he had already made up his mind. "No thanks, I wouldn't want to third wheel on you guys." His gaze wandered over to the other side of the court, "I thought I'd just wander around Sendai for a bit."

Kenma didn't seem to have the energy or will to question him, "just don't get lost. We'll meet you in the hotel after dinner."

He threw an arm around him and feigned the high of a newly concluded epiphany, "just don't come home too late— oh how you've grown! It's too much for me. Don't be reckless out there okay? You're still so young— so innocent!"

Tetsuro skillfully dodged Kenma's elbow. "Don't laugh at me, pervert."

"Who are you calling a pervert?"

Kenma grimaced, "I bet you're as good for nothing as those old men who peep in bath houses."

"That was way beyond low, Kenma. I didn't need an inside look on your morbid thoughts." Tetsuro shoved him half-heartedly. He watched his best friend make his way over to Hinata who was in the middle of a fairly animated conversation with his teammates.

His body seemed to have moved on its own. Tsukishima seemed to have been in a similar state of disbelief. "Tsukishima, you got a sec?" The middle blocker quietly excused himself from the discussion.

"Are you free later? Kenma's going out with Shrimpy and I was hoping we could catch up and all. It's fine you can't though." He could practically feel the breeze from the pits of the cliff that separated them. Tsukishima looked back at him with thoughts visibly racing through the windows of his eyes. Tetsuro saw him dare to take a step forward. 

"Sure. I don't have any plans today. We can head out now if you'd like," he gestured to the scene behind him. It seemed Karasuno's captain was trying to intervene in what seemed to be the inklings of a two-way homicide. Kenma had his chin resting on Hinata's head and his arms binding his upper half in attempt to pacify him. It was a subtle reminder of Kenma's height and how he still towered over Hinata. "Being surrounded by them for prolonged periods of time is quite taxing.

Tetsuro offered a laugh before they both made their way out of the gym and towards the changing rooms. They had miraculously washed up and changed in record time before the freak twins decided to wreak havoc. They safely made it out of the vicinity of Karasuno.

The park deemed to be a good place to pass the time before dinner. They fell into step on the sidewalk with a calculated distance set between them. Tetsuro couldn't help but reminisce on the days where their shoulders could brush against each other and their hands could fall carelessly in between them. They would have held hands a lifetime ago. It would be too much of a stretch now.

"How's college been lately?" Tsukishima piped in.

"Stressful per usual but there are times it gets fun."

"College sounds depressing."

Tetsuro shrugged, "can't deny that."

His companion hummed in acknowledgement.

"Are you still planning to take up history?"

"You… remembered?" A moment of silence passed between them. Their gazes intersected for a split second before Tsukishima cast his eyes on the pavement. "Yes, I still am."

The atmosphere hung at the knife's edge but Tetsuro couldn't help but put gravity to the test.

"Have you decided where you'll be going for college?" The words of the soft voice in his head spilled from his tongue and into the space in between before he could stop them. He wasn't even sure if he had wanted to. They both saw it coming— but neither of them had thought they'd have the courage to address it until that moment.

Tsukishima inhaled sharply. The cold air stung his eyes, causing the involuntary tears to glisten in the afternoon glow. "I applied for a university in Sendai."

The nonexistent knife clattered onto the ground and cut him but he overlooked it and nodded. He refused to give in to the unconscious ache that threatened to spread across his chest. He didn't have a reason to be disappointed, "I hope you get accepted."

It seemed like commom courtesy to reply with,"thank you."

They continued their trek around the park despite the chill. Tetsuro waited until it seemed decent enough to revive the conversation.

"Bokuto's training to go pro."

"Akaashi had mentioned it to me. He never seemed keen enough to go into college.

Tetsuro crossed his arms over his chest. "I actually thought Akaashi would go pro as well."

"Isn't he a first year in literature?"

"Yeah but it's a bit concerning."

"How so?" Tsukishima eyed him skeptically

Tetsuro tried his best to brush up the hair that stuck over half of his forehead and fostered the most owl-like expression he could muster.  _ "Oh no… how the heck do I play volleyball again?" _

He barely had the chance to get lost in his own laughter when a sound so familiar yet so foreign registered in his system. He realized how long it had been since he last heard Tsukishima laugh. It meant Tsukishima had let down his defences

It got easier to carry a casual conversation. They exchanged stories from their personal experiences over the years. Tetsuro described what college life was like in Tokyo and recounted the few occasions he and Akaashi had been dragged out by Bokuto to go hang out. In return, Tsukishima told them about their trips to nationals and the "shit he had to put up with." What interested him the most was the fact that Tsukishima also shared experiences he's had with Akaashi.

"Has he come to visit?" Tetsuro inquired with peaked curiosity.

"Sometimes. He came over recently for one of his assignments and asked if I could accompany him to the Sendai Museum."

"So you guys still keep in touch?"

"He likes to check up on me. He's also quite interesting to talk to about literature and history and he's also helped me out with some writing for school."

_ "Kuroo you need to talk to him." _

Tetsuro sighed softly, "Akaashi is growing up to be a good upperclassman. Speaking of which— where are Karasuno's Third Years' now?"

"They tend to visit us regularly. Though Azumane moved to Tokyo for college, he still comes around. We have practice matches sometimes.

"You guys still have a very close relationship," he caught a glimpse of the blue sky melting into hues of pink and orange, "we all sort of went our separate ways. We still check up on one another but not as often as you guys."

The cold wind whistled past him and bit into his cheeks. It was trying to pry at his resolve but he knew better. He appreciated how Tsukishima did not look on him with pity in his eyes.

"It just comes with living in a small prefecture.

"I suppose."

They both lapsed into their own worlds for a few moments before Tsukishima decided to break the silence. "Kuroo?"

"Yeah?"

"What brings you back to Sendai?"

The question momentarily threw him off his axis. "Kenma decided to spend his birthday here."

A nod, "how long are you staying?"

"I'm leaving first thing in the morning on the eighteenth."

"I see." A pause.

"It's getting pretty late, do you want to head out and get dinner?"

Tsukishima agreed quietly and began walking ahead. He was backing further and further away from the gap. "I have a place in mind."

Tetsuro jogged to catch up to him and steadied his pace to match that of Tsukishima's. A thought hit him in the back if the head as they exited the park. The sky slowly faded into an unsaturated purple. "Hey isn't this—"

_ "I'm really surprised you haven't picked up on it yet." _

"Is something wrong?" Tsukishima halted in his tracks and watched Tetsuro apprehensively. Suddenly, it wasn't October the fifteenth, two years later. It was November the eleventh, two years before.

_ "You… I mean…" _

_ He had Tsukki's trembling hands into his certain ones. "Yeah. I do, Kei." The unsuppressed laughter escaped him as Kei burrowed his head in Tetsuro's chest. _

The wind carried the sentiment and the memories of a forgone age into a space untouchable. Tetsuro shrugged off the cloud of nostalgia that hung over him. "It's nothing."

They continued onward with a memory buried in the abyss that kept them apart. Something told him it was the beginning of the end. Tetsuro could not argue against it.

* * *

_ From: Hinata Shoyo _

_ Subject: IMPORTANT!! _

_ Hey Kuroo! Could you pick out a cake please? I got the decorations ready don't worry! I just kinda forgot to pick one out eheh ;; You can try checking out this shop! Kenma and I won't be back for a while so you have a lot of time! _

_ Thank youu~ _

* * *

_ reply _

* * *

_ To: Hinata Shoyo _

_ Subject: n/a _

_ No sweat kid. Leave it to me. _

* * *

"Do you know where this shop is?"

"Yeah, it's just across the restaurant we're eating at." Tetsuro pocketed his phone as they continued their journey. "Are you throwing a party for Kozume?"

"You're still as formal as ever, you're still calling him  _ san _ ," Tetsuro chuckled. "And yeah, Shrimp and I planned it. I'm kinda glad he left the cake to me or else we'd probably get food poisoning."

Tsukishima breathed a laugh,"yeah that's true."

Just as described, the shop was across the small street from the restaurant. Tsukishima offered to reserve the seats and order ahead while he set off to the entrance of the shop. 

Finding a cake for Kenma wasn't overly taxing. It was actually quite simple since Kenma wasn't very particular with flavours and preferred smaller portions to match that of his appetite. Tetsuro managed to snag some apple pie as well.

He slowed on his approach to the counter when the display of strawberry shortcakes caught his eye.

* * *

_ From: Hinata Shoyo _

_ Subject: IMPORTANT!! _

_ Did you get the cake :00 _

* * *

_ reply _

* * *

_ To: Hinata Shoyo _

_ Subject: n/a _

_ Yep. Have fun on your date kiddo ;) _

* * *

_ From: Hinata Shoyo _

_ Subject: n/a _

_ Yay! Thanks big bro Kuroo :D _

* * *

"Thank you for the food." 

Tetsuro couldn't help but gape when he realized what dishes were laid in front of them. "You got us Mackerel?"

It could have been the light playing tricks on him but Tsukishima's cheeks began to burn slightly. "You do like it, don't you?"

"Yeah. Thank you for remembering."

Tsukishima still did not look at him. "It's no problem."

They dug into the meal without much fuss. That was until they argued over who would pay the bill which they both conceited to splitting.

"I got you something."

"Oh you didn't have to—"

Tetsuro handed the plastic bag over to Tsukishima who took it hesitantly and braved a peek inside. "This is…"

"Looks like you're not the only thoughtful one around here."

There wasn't much after that. Tsukishima insisted on seeing to it that Tetsuro made it back to his hotel safely. He managed to persuade him to accompany him for a while. They split the cake between them and proceeded to speak of the little things in life.

"Are you going to make it back alright?" Tetsuro's words were punctuated by soft clouds in the freezing air.

"I'll be alright," Tsukishima replied as he adjusted his coat. "Thank you for today."

He couldn't help but feel a bit sheepish, "I should really be thanking you. You took the time out of your day to show me around and all."

"It really wasn't a problem, Kuroo."

They regarded each other politely before Tsukishima turned his back to leave.

"Tsukishima."

He only had the faint light of the night sky and the hotel to make out the curious expression on his face. "You wouldn't mind hanging out the day after tomorrow, right?"

Tsukishima blinked and took a moment to process his words. "Sure, I don't think I have any plans on that day either."

"I'll see you then."

"You too."

And with that, Tetsuro watched Tsukishima's silhouette descend into the night before he returned into the confines of the hotel lobby.

* * *

_ "Kuroo, you need to talk to him." _

Tetsuro pulled out the steel chair from beneath the table. He quietly took his seat and opted into the still space in front of him. He could make out the bearings of a few buildings from beyond the balcony.

_ "Whenever I feel deflated, I have my team and luckily Bokuto as well. When you're down, you have your own team and you've got Kenma." Kuroo eyed Fukurodani's setter skeptically, but he knew better than to speak up too soon. _

_ "When Karasuno falls apart they have each other. At least, that's what we all believe." It felt like ice cubes were dropped into his stomach and he felt his mind race and put up it's defences and constructed its counter-arguments. But it only proved Akaashi's point further. He knew what he was going to say next. He just couldn't accept hearing it out loud. He couldn't accept that it was true. _

_ "You've seen it," Akaashi spoke evenly. He didn't have to say anymore. Karasuno had huddled together in their mutual anguish. But there it was— Tsukishima stood on the sidelines looking as though he wished he could be anywhere else. It was far from true because on closer inspection one could uncover the great sense of turmoil he suppressed within him. _

_ It was like watching a funeral take place. Tetsuro stood on the outskirts of the site while Karasuno gathered around the grave. Tsukishima stood not too far from him. It was unfair, Tsukishima was just as affected by the loss but there he was— standing alone without anyone to comfort him because everyone else was too busy falling apart. _

_ "You know," he turned his head to meet Akaashi's eyes. It was like the eerie calm after the storm. "You know that when everything falls apart— Tsukishima is all alone." _

_ His conscience threatened to tear him apart. He could practically feel it crawling in his skin. He felt the wave of memory engulf him and drag him deeper into the ocean. He recalled the few phone calls at far too early in the morning and the sound of unspilled tears in Tsukishima's voice when he briefly spoke of the aches and the pain. He always recovered so quickly and apologized for the inconvenience he caused.  _

_ When they'd meet up again, Tetsuro would try and bring up the phone call and ask how he was doing. Tsukishima always seemed to wince slightly and automatically responded with,"everything's alright now." And it would seem that way. It made him wonder about all the things Tsukishima had been too afraid to tell him. He could see Tsukishima's blank eyes from when Karasuno would lose a game. The same expression that meant he had pulled away from the reality around him and retreated into his own head. _

_ He can't count the times he wished he could somehow enter Tsukishima's consciousness and stop him from mentally picking himself apart. He was confronted with the fact that Tsukishima had probably gotten used to falling apart alone and learnt to pick up his glass shards and put them back together. It seemed Akaashi knew it too. _

_ "I just need time to think," he replied. Akaashi continued to watch him carefully. "I'll talk to him soon." _

His phone lit up from its place on the table. He caught a glimpse of the time. It was eleven minutes past eleven.

Tetsuro couldn't help but look up at the stars and make a wish.

_ I want to figure everything out. I want to figure out what I should have two years ago. _

He blended into the silence of the night for that moment. He opened his phone again when the minute passed and the spell was broken.

* * *

_ From: Hinata Shoyo _

_ Subject: AAAAA _

_ The decorations are on the bedside table!! _

_ We'll get there in half an hour!! _

* * *

_ reply _

* * *

_ To: Hinata Shoyo _

_ Subject: n/a _

_ I'm on it. Just buy me some time. _

* * *

Tetsuro took one last look at the night sky before he left the balcony with the whispers of the hour still fresh and ringing in his ears.

* * *

At exactly midnight, Hinata guided Kenma into the hotel room to get showered by confetti. They had a quiet celebration and a few laughs before they all retired into their respective areas of the spacious living area.

In the midst of the twilight, Tetsuro fell asleep to the dream of a distant memory. He had been staring at the ceiling, carefully observing every crevice made by the presence of too much paint. The pink and orange light seeped through the glass sliding doors of the balcony and clouded his vision. He was lulled into a restless sleep with one last whisper to send him off.

_ "You're getting tired of me, aren't you?" _

  
  



	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took forever but qurantine calls for productivity. Stay safe everyone

Kenma's plans for his birthday were apparent if the luggage he had brought with him was anything to go by. It didn't come to anyone's surprise when Tetsuro and Hinata returned with breakfast plates in hand, only to find a gaming console already plugged into the hotel television and greeted with a simple, "I just woke up, don't worry," as though it was meant to console them. Nevertheless, they managed to get him to stomach some amount of food and cake, though he took to eating the pie without any complaint before they sat down together on the carpet to debate on a game.

"What about Mario Kart?" Hinata prompted as he pointed to the game's icon on the screen. Tetsuro and Kenma silently agreed and the latter selected the game.

"Which map do you want to play?" Kenma asked flatly. After Hinata seemed to need more time to think, Kenma opted to pass his own controller to him. "You can browse around and pick it for yourself if you'd like, I'm going to get some water."

Tetsuro placed his own controller aside and stood up, "I'll go put the dishes away."

They made their way to the a kitchenette in comfortable peace.Tetsuro gestured for Kenma to hand his plate over as he allowed the faucet to rinse of the pile in the sink. He heard the quiet humming of the refrigerator door before it shut with a quiet  _ bam. _

"Did something happen yesterday?"

Tetsuro kept his eyes on the dish he was washing, "I went around Sendai with Tsukishima."

"How did it go?" He knew it was for the sake of formality and that Kenma really didn't expect him to give a detailed answer. He wasn't asking any of the real questions yet.

"It was fine. We walked around and got dinner," he chuckled at the thought, "and he actually offered to pay the bill."

Kenma seemed to have sensed the personal attack. Amusement crept on his still expression. "You really expect your underclassman to pay for you? You're neglecting your obligation as a senior?"

The moment of amusement passed far too quickly, replaced by the weight of the sentiment none of them could afford to overlook. Kenma seemed to have deemed it best if he remained silent, but the look in his eyes spoke louder than Tetsuro's own thoughts.

"It was fine, Kenma."

His best friend did not believe him. He looked ready to spill the once warm up of truth that had gone cold over the years. Tetsuro watched him, unsure if he was willing or even capable of acknowledging it—

"Guys, I think the race is about to start."

They returned to the living room, with the thoughts discarded on the kitchen sink and with no further knowledge of when they would ever speak of it again. With the dangerously naive expression painted on Hinata's face, they both silently agreed that they could disregard it for a bit longer.

"This is—" Tetsuro began.

" _ Rainbow Road,  _ it sounded interesting and the colours looked really cool!"

Ad so, Tetsuro's morning began with a hangover from yesterday's thoughts and a handful of minute motion sickness and a lot of screaming that had not come from either him or Kenma.

They played on the same map over and over again until Kenma finally managed to gently persuade Hinata to agree to taking a simpler race. Tetsuro wished he could draw out these moments for longer than he should. The soft voice in his head wondered if he had been dragging them out for long enough.

* * *

There was no fancy lunch out or dinner. They stayed as they were, speaking of trivial things and settling down as the rest of the world hassled around them. That was how Kenma lived day to day. There was no booze either since Hinata and Kenma still weren't of age and Tetsuro never had a taste for alcohol.

They played more games. Tetsuro was pleasantly surprised that the years of playing video games with Kenma ultimately translated to him being somewhat decent at them. He can't say he's memorized every  _ Call of Duty _ class like the back of his hand, but he's got a pretty good grasp on which he could use to annoy Kenma and hunt down Hinata. 

The evening settled on them serenely. They were indulging in way too much sweets and too little sense. They were drunk off each other's company. But the high crashes when the night falls. The dark reveals the melancholy buried in the light and as much as he wished his own problems hadn't come to surface on that day of all days, it seemed his two companions wouldn't allow him to avoid it any longer.

"You need to talk to him," they were the same words but from a different person.

Tetsuro tried to lean further and further into the edge of the couch. "I know."

Hinata decided to speak up, "You and Tsukishima were together, right?"

He could barely laugh when Hinata offered a playful shudder when he acknowledged the fact. It seemed Hinata couldn't carry the weight of feint joyousness any longer. There was a demure intelligence with him and it always brought him to wonder how often Kenma got to see it.

"Did something happen?"

Tetsuro pondered on it for a moment. The white noise of the show on the telly droned out the blueness absorbed by the atmosphere."Nothing did."

He paused to take a breath. He could feel the melancholic weight he exhaled leave him in a cloud of smoke. "And maybe that's why it happened," the night drew out the confessions of sinners. "One day I just stopped talking."

"Why?" He shifted his gaze towards Kenma who, in his silence, seemed as curious as Hinata was.

"I was unsure."  _ I was afraid. _

"Of the commitment?" He looked back at Hinata with surprise. Hinata's brown eyes were lined in a darker mahogany and it looked like he was reaching into the depths of Tetsuro's soul.

Someone said it. Someone said it but he wasn't entirely sure if he was right. The soft voice cried and said he was and down the stubborn part of him said otherwise.

Hinata didn't seem to need the answer, "I was really confused back then."

Tetsuro silenced his thoughts to listen.

"Second year had barely started and we were in practice. I always thought that maybe it was just Tsukishima having a bad day but that wasn't it."

"He wasn't distracted or anything. Just more… graceful? I'm not sure if that's the right word. His movements were softer and he seemed lighter but more fragile. Even with that, he looked like he was carrying a great weight in his shoulders and he was trying not to crack. I don't think he ever wanted us to see or know— even Yamaguchi couldn't do anything but I don't think he could have suppressed it."

"I don't think he could lie and tell himself he was okay."

Tetsuro's attention fell onto the wall behind Hinata. Someone really needed to paint over the cracks. They weren't gaping ones, but they were there. They were there and they mocked him for the gap he left unfilled, bare and exposed.

"Sometimes I wonder if he forgets everything the moment someone brings it up."  _ I'm fine, Kuroo.  _ "He keeps quiet and brushes it off but sometimes I think he has quite a lot to say."

_ He just needed someone to ask further. He just needed someone to read in between the lines. He needed someone.  _

"I'll talk to him," with that, he retreated to the balcony. No one tried to stop him.

* * *

_ "I'm sorry." Tsukishima's fingers loosely dug into his jacket. It was as though he needed to push Tetsuro away but couldn't stop himself from clinging on. Tetsuro held him close and let the first year's tears stain the fabric of his shoulder. _

_ "You don't need to apologize." _

_ Tsukishima just burrowed deeper into the crook of his neck. "You should be with someone better." _

_ "Is that what you really want?" _

_ He felt his heart stop when Tsukishima's breathing hitched mid sob. _

_ "I want what makes you happy." _

_ Tetsuro carefully guided Tsukishima's head out from the crook of his neck to face him. He cupped the younger's face in his hands and wiped away the tears that fell from his flushed cheeks. "Then I'm not going anywhere." _

He closed his eyes and allowed the breeze to sweep over his face.  _ But look where you are now _ .

Some time two years ago he stopped. He cut communications because some stubborn part of him told him that he needed some time to think. But what about? What had he needed to ponder on? What led him to do something as drastic as that?

The guilt froze and settled uncomfortably in his bones.

_ "You know that when everything falls apart— Tsukishima is all alone." _

Tetsuro shoved away all the intrusive thoughts that threatened to enter his mind. He did not want to think about Tsukishima breaking down alone. He did not want to think about how much he kept it bottled up so that no one had to worry about him. He did not want to think about the damage he had caused, but the moon showed him no mercy.

_ "You're getting tired of me, aren't you?" _

Tetsuro had long doubted the actual existence of the soft whisper that carried those words a lifetime ago. He had been drifting in between consciousness and sleep as he and Tsukishima were on the bus to the station. With his head resting on the blonde's shoulder and their hands softly intertwined on their laps, he had barely caught the words he knew he wasn't never meant to hear.

Even then, he still wasn't sure of his answer.

"Two years," he muttered to himself.  _ Two years has been long enough _ .

* * *

_ From: Tsukishima Kei _

_ Subject: n/a _

_ I'm not sure if your number has changed but I'm hoping this gets through. What time would you like to meet today? Do you want me to pick you up? _

* * *

He felt his heart in his throat.

_ reply _

* * *

_ To: Tsukishima Kei _

_ Subject: n/a _

_ It hasn't don't worry haha _

_ Is 11 alright for you? We can meet up somewhere if it's alright. I wouldn't want you to go through all the effort Tsukki _

* * *

They met up at a park close to the hotel and discussed where they would head to for the day.

"How about a museum? You could definitely tour me around, Tsukki."

He knew it wasn't just the cold that flushed Tsukishima's cheeks. Tetsuro couldn't help but laugh as his companion stammered together a shy response.

"We might have to take a bus to get there."

"No worries," Tetsuro laughed again, "man, it feels like we're going on some kind of field trip. I feel like a high school student again."

Tsukishima scoffed, "what an old man."

Tetsuro offered a feint grimace, "I walked right into that one."

They made their way to a bus stop. Somewhere along the way, the silence that flitted between them felt off. "Something on your mind?"

"Oh it's nothing it's just—" Tetsuro turned to him curiously, "you kept the scarf I gave you?"

His hand unconsciously found the softness wrapped around his neck. He made out the deep purple that stuck out against the black of his coat. "Yeah, it keeps me warm," there were puffs of fog that punctuated his laugh. "It's my favourite actually."

They were spared an exchange when the bus pulled to a stop in front of them. He didn't have the time to decipher Tsukishima's expression before his companion made his way up the short staircase and presented bus cards good for them both. Tetsuro followed Tsukishima onto seats by the midsection of the vehicle.

"I'm glad you like it," Tetsuro had managed to strain his ears to pick up Tsukishima's words. He offered him a smile before Tsukishima turned his attention to the window.

It may have been the trick of the light— but somehow and in some way their gazes met through the reflection of the glass. He could make out the low burning flame in Tsukishima's eyes, prickling with an intensity he couldn't place.

He wasn't entirely sure why he decided to laugh. If he was completely honest, he was sure Tsukishima wasn't entirely sure why he joined in either.

To a stranger, they would have appeared to be two friends on a day out.  _ Friends _ . Tetsuro wasn't sure if he could even call them that. But for then, they could continue not being entirely sure, basking in obliviousness in an attempt to bury the reality that had been set so many years ago.

* * *

" _ Tsukkisaurus." _

Tsukishima exhaled, "that never existed."

"Really? I was pretty sure you were it's descendant." He laughed when Tsukishima half-heartedly swatted his shoulder. "Okay then Dino expert, what's that one then?"

"An Ankylosaurus?" Tetsuro ran over to the sign and offered a stage gasp.

"You're officially a nerd."

"Well pardon me but I think memorizing the entire periodic table for fun makes you the better candidate for the title."

"When will someone ever need to remember the names of all these dinosaurs in their lives?"

Tsukishima scoffed, "when they're dragged through the museum with clueless idiots of course." He walked ahead and casted a side glance at Tetsuro, "and I'm pretty sure there's a reason why the periodic table is accessible and arranged as such."

Tetsuro clicked his tongue and threw an arm around the blonde's shoulders. "Touché."

They wandered over to the designated section for the world wars. It seemed to be the one thing they both enjoyed looking over mutually. Tetsuro could name the biochemical weapons, their compositions and effects while Tsukishima put a title to every event and recorded every date.

Tetsuro could say history is what they seemed to have in common.

He caught himself watching Tsukishima's eyes scan over the documents with engrossed curiosity.

"Hey Tsukishima, do you remember the place where the Americans caught us by surprise—"

" _ Midway _ ," wistfulness dripped from his voice.

Tetsuro smiled. He could always count on Tsukishima to remember so much. It used to catch him off guard, but he remembered how he learned to pretend to forget just so he could hear Tsukishima recall precious memories.

"History is important to you, isn't it?"

"Shouldn't it be important to everyone?"

Tetsuro breathed a laugh, "that's true."

* * *

_ "You said you loved me back." _

_ A pause. _

_ "You always keep saying you forget but I know you don't. You're too smart for that. But this time, I'm not so sure." _

_ A laugh. _

_ "Actually, I think you do remember. But there's a difference, isn't there?" _

_ A breath. _

_ "There's a difference between remembering and pretending." _

* * *

The sunsets were always pink in Miyagi. They always looked softer and the wind was always kinder. Everyone moved slower.

The afternoon found them leaned against the railing for a bridge, watching the sun slowly descend into the ocean. He didn't know what came over him when he asked, "so, have you been in any relationships lately?"

Tetsuro told himself that he did not catch the surprise on Tsukishima's face. He told himself he wasn't waiting for it.

"No," Tsukishima cleared his throat, "I haven't."

Their gazes fell into one another's. "And you?"

He scratched the back of his head, "neither have I."

Tsukishima did not give the silence a chance to lapse over them fully, "was it because of me?"

It was Tetsuro's turn to watch him in disbelief.

"I would have understood."  _ We aren't together anymore, right? _

It felt as though he was slipping against the melting atmosphere. "Tsukishima—"

"Kuroo." His voice was even and the honourific seemed to have stabbed him in the chest. "You shouldn't have let me stop you from being happy."

Tsukishima sighed, "you don't have to apologize for anything because I understand and I forgive you. It wasn't as though you did anything wrong."

"You got tired, and I was incompetent. Please do not take that as a statement to be pitied. I understand where I fell short and your actions were justifiable. But I loved you and I appreciated the reciprocation, even if it was just for a short amount of time," it had been so long since he'd seen Tsukishima's smile. It was always so soft and understanding. It was full of unspoken affection and came from a place that had been forced beneath the layer of defenses he put up for himself. How could such a beautiful thing break his heart right then and there?

"Please continue on to be happy, Kuroo. That's all I'd want for you." He took one last glance at the sky.

"I'm sorry for all of that."

Tetsuro's throat finally cleared after a century, "it's alright."

"I need to get going, I have to meet my brother. Do you want me to go back with you?"

"No no it's alright, I wouldn't want you to be late. I'll be fine."

"Are you sure—"

"Can I see you tomorrow?" He added at the same time.

"Aren't you leaving?"

"I'd like to talk with you again. Before I leave."

"Okay."

And on that unnamed bridge, they parted ways the sun crashed into the ocean, leaving the moon to mourn for the ensuing loss.

* * *

_ "Breathe, Tsukishima." _

_ He forced himself to follow the still voice that anchored him against the waves that threatened to sweep him away. There were tears down his cheeks and sobs he could not stop. _

_ "I'm sorry." _

_ "Don't be. Don't ever be sorry for being hurt." _

_ "Akaashi." _

_ "Yes?" _

_ "He's doing fine, right?" _

_ "Tsukishima…" _

_ "Is he happy?" Kei couldn't even stop himself from gazing at the last picture he had left on his wall. He couldn't bring himself to take it down. He wondered if he would ever see Tetsuro smile as widely again. He wondered if he could ever make him smile like that again. "He's doing fine without me." _

_ He didn't need Akaashi to respond to that. But he did. "I'll talk to him." _

_ "I just want him to be happy," he wiped the tears with the back of his hand. "I don't even understand why I'm crying." _

_ "Because you aren't happy." _

_ "I should be." _

_ "But you aren't and right now, you don't have to be." _

Kei opened his eyes and broke the spell of his restless slumber. Two years ago, he was crying on the same bed he was laying on. Two years ago, Akaashi told him he didn't have to be happy about it. Two years ago, he decided to be selfish. He was older now. He knew better. But he couldn't say he was happy yet.

Yet. Because now Kuroo could move on. Now he could be assured that Kuroo did not bear the weight of having Tsukishima's well being on his shoulders. Now Kuroo was free. Now Kuroo would be happy. There were no tears. There were no pictures on his wall to mock him

"I'll be happy soon."

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi this is the last chapter :0 this means this is the first multi chaptered fic I've actually finished woo hoo  
> I noticed I published the last chapter after having another migraine. Everything works so strangely ;;; anyways, I put in the epilogue as well since the ending was too short lol

* * *

_ From: Tsukishima Kei _

_ Subject: n/a _

_ Do you want me to send you off to the station? _

* * *

_ reply _

* * *

_ To: Tsukishima Kei _

_ Subject: n/a _

_ If it's alright with you. I think Kenma and Hinata went to visit Hinata's place. They know I'm leaving though. _

* * *

Tetsuro squinted up at the clock that hung on the wall. It was barely past four in the morning.

* * *

_ From: Tsukishima Kei _

_ Subject: n/a _

_ I'll meet you outside your hotel in 15 minutes. _

* * *

His fingers hovered over the keyboard of his phone.  _ Why are you awake? _ He wanted to ask but quickly deleted the text before he could. He forced his sleep driven mind around the living area, gathering his small suitcase and backpack with him. Tetsuro had already run a check over the hotel room yesterday. He couldn't bear to sit still and listen to his own thoughts.

The dawn was too quiet. Nothing in Miyagi was ever as busy as Tokyo. He usually would have abstained from the quiet but the air around him made it too difficult for him to think coherently. And it seemed to be for the best.

Tetsuro's heart almost leapt out of his chest when he saw the silver outlines of a familiar sedan pull up by the hotel entrance. He managed to catch his breath when he saw the mess of pale blonde hair.

"You're finally driving, I see."

Tsukishima shrugged, "just recently."

"I'm surprised Akiteru let you borrow his car."

He tucked his luggage safely in the back compartment before taking his place in the passenger's side. It felt strange to not be sitting in the back row as he had done years ago.

"He offered to come with me to pick you up," Tsukishima pulled a grimace while his eyes remained on the road. "But I think we both know that it's for the best that he didn't."

Tetsuro hummed quietly. There was some quiet sort of ballad in the background. It surely wasn't from Tsukishima's playlist, however. It was too early in the morning, after all.

"You were awake quite early."

"I couldn't sleep yesterday," Tetsuro opened his mouth to respond but Tsukishima beat him to it, "I had some work I needed to do."

"I see."

"And you said you were leaving first thing in the morning."

He chuckled softly and leant against the headrest, "Still as thoughtful as always."

They stopped as the light turned red. He opted to give up on his attempts to catch some micro sleeps, he knew how tired Tsukishima must have been.

"You wanted to talk about something." Tsukishima's eyes were still on the road, but his gaze drew somewhere further away.

"I'm sorry," something about the early hours of the morning felt more sincere than the late hours of the night. Everything had finally been stretched out until there was nothing but bluntness and the raw truth. "For what I did."

In the early hours of the morning, neither of them had the energy to cry.

"I told you you didn't have to," he replied. "I've already forgiven you."

"You shouldn't have. I hurt you."

"But I did," the light flickered yellow. "I did because I cared about you."

And the stop was over. The light turned green. The cars drove onward. They had to move forward. 

* * *

"Your hair is much longer now," Tetsuro commented, "it looks good on you."

"I figured you'd say that."

"How so?"

"You used to say you liked long hair."

* * *

Tetsuro couldn't bring himself to walk back into the station and apparently-- neither could Tsukishima. They both stood quietly, with the same thought going through their heads. Tetsuro decided to pull away first, Tsukishima followed him silently.

"I'll see you off."

Tetsuro could barely manage a smile,"thank you."

He knew the hallway like the back of his hand. And it hadn't changed from the two years he was away. Even the feeling hadn't changed. The weight of departure still lingered in his chest. The instant flood of memories patterned like raindrops after the storm. It gave the faint sense of relief with nostalgia hidden beneath it.

It had been so long since they stood there. Walking in step as the minutes drew on for forever but never felt like long enough. Even then, there was a calculated distance between them. But this time, Tetsuro couldn't try to take Tsukishima's hand when everyone else was too busy in their own worlds to notice. He couldn't smile when Tsukishima looked at him questioningly and said, "don't miss me too much," and had the blonde stammer a response to defend himself. He couldn't have him grip his hand a little tighter because they both understood the distance was hard.

Now they walked in an almost empty hallway with something still stopping them from taking each other's hands. They walked in silence because now there was no pressure on leaving or missing anyone. 

He couldn't understand. Wasn't this station the bridge he failed to cross? Didn't they talk about what had been stretched out for so long? Weren't they finally over it?

It was five in morning according to the red digits that flashed in the digital clock. His train wasn't set to leave until quarter past. Timing like this usually led to sitting in a cafe with their hands comfortably intertwined beneath the table and senseless conversation between them. Ten minutes passed in silence over coffee steam and shared cake.

The platform was yellow, exposed to the still rising sun. The stares they offered one another were that of confusion instead of longing.  _ What is there to say?  _

There were thoughts that flew past the embers of Tsukishima's eyes. He barely registered the movement that was restrained with hesitation. In the end, Tetsuro patiently spectated when Tsukishima settled on an outstretched hand for him to take.

"Thank you," Tetsuro managed to let out, "for keeping me company."

"I told you it was no problem."

They turned as the train pulled to a halt, blowing the stray strands of hair from their faces and the facades they had managed to construct. They stood, drowned in the early daylight without any knowledge of what else they were supposed to say.

Tetsuro took a step onto the train. The depression between him and Tsukishima threatened to split the ground beneath them.

And there they were. Staring across the space left in between them, waiting for the doors to close and the world to continue. Tetsuro held his breath when he heard Tsukishima's usual tick that kicked in whenever he wanted to strike up a conversation.

"Tetsuro I—"

He could see it. Tsukishima took a step forward on his side of the gap. It seemed to bridge so much more than what Tetsuro had done physically. And it hit him.

Tsukishima was always the one who tried to bridge the gap. He was the one who waited and waited, even when Tetsuro showed up ten minutes late to a date Tsukishima had planned a week beforehand. Even when he liked keeping everything on schedule he didn't press it. He made sure they both had the time for a small chat or for a heartfelt call at unholy hours in the morning. Tsukishima always tried to reach out to him. Tsukishima waited for him. And all he did was burn down the bridge. He left him to wait.

They both knew what he wanted to say and yet some part of Tetsuro was unsure. The flight response pricked him beneath his skin but the soft voice in his head kept him steady. The soft voice in his head urged Tsukishima to say the words he was too afraid to say himself.

But Tsukishima faltered. He stopped right on the edge and stared down at the chasm between them. Tetsuro saw the thought as it registered in Tsukishima's eyes.  _ Uncrossable. _

"I hope you have a safe trip back."

There was no bridge to cross. The gap was too wide— but he didn't need to take a leap. There were thousands of miles that separated Tokyo from Sendai, but there was only the gap between the train and the platform between him and Tsukishima. No matter how wide the chasm between them seemed— the words he left unsaid until then could carry over the space between them.

"Kei." He could see the glassiness in the blonde's eyes. The rays made them glisten behind his glasses. Tetsuro smiled, "I'll see you soon."

_ "The doors are now closing." _

* * *

**epilogue** _. _

* * *

_ From: Kuroo Tetsuro _

_ Subject: n/a _

_ I'm on my way _

* * *

"Sorry I'm late."

Kei offered a short smile, "it's alright. You're not answering to me for missing the serve, after all."

Tetsuro bowed politely to greet Yamaguchi and Yachi before taking his seat beside Kei. "Man, Bokuto is going to murder me."

He felt a weight settle on the shoulder of his outstretched arm and adjusted so it could snuggle into the crook of his neck. "You're lucky Akaashi got here in time to distract him."

Tetsuro laughed, "I shall be forever grateful to that man."

"What happened anyway, Kuroo?" Yamaguchi piped in, "Tsukki was getting pretty ansty."

"Shut up, Yamaguchi."

A laugh, "sorry, Tsukki."

He feigned a deep sigh, "I just went to check on Kenma. He had a meeting today and he couldn't worm his way out of it."

"I hope Hinata doesn't get too upset," Yachi added.

"I'm sure the shrimp will be fine."

They went back to the game. It was nothing short of nostalgic, but they could revel in the high of adrenaline and hype. It was like the good old days, with some present and others not but the sentiment still remained.

It felt like watching another match, just with the teams mixed up. It felt like highschool had never ended. They could overlook the fact that they were a few years older and had more responsibilities. It was volleyball. It was what got them all together. But it wasn't just the game, however.

He felt the warm pressure of Kei's hand settled on his own and the comfortable relief of having him by his side. It felt like nothing had changed at all.

But he would have been naive to believe that. Because the fire in Kei's eyes had not been as bright when he had first seen it at seventeen. Because Tsukishima Kei would have never thought volleyball was more than just a club at fifteen. Because Kei would have never thought they would stop talking at sixteen. Because Tetsuro would have never thought they'd bridge the gap at eighteen. Because neither of them knew of the stumbles it took and the wounds that had to heal until found each other again. Because they would've never thought they'd be where they were when Kei had just gone eighteen and he was nineteen going twenty.

Tetsuro didn't understand why the world seemed to have turned so slowly at that moment. All he knew was that the soft voice he had finally learnt to listen to had something to say.

"I love you."

Kei eyed him skeptically, fully aware that no one had heard the whisper, "what's with you all of a sudden?"

Tetsuro shrugged, "nothing, I just felt like I haven't told you that enough."

The blonde scoffed, "you don't need to."

"But I did." Now Kei was twenty one and he was twenty two going on twenty three, he doesn't know where they'll be in a couple more years but maybe he didn't have to. They had plans, sure— but it didn't really hurt to step back for a bit. All he had was right next to him at that very moment and it was enough.

"I love you too, Tetsuro."

And their hands always found each other. No matter how wide the gap or how far the distance, they would find a way around, over and past it. They would find a way. And Tetsuro knew that whenever he would take a step forward, Kei would always be there to meet him halfway.

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> stay safe everyone and thanks for reading haha this is the end of the fic :0 I might wrote Akaashi's interlude soon so keep an eye out for that


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